Wonderful Beef
Lyrics!Wonderful Beef
Lyrics!
1. Malk
2. In a Band
Growing up I had it rough. Although I hated work it taught me just enough. To know there ain't no application for the job that I've been chasin' and I'm looking for a diamond in the rough. And as it seems to me that if it was just a phase it would've passed around eighteen (but it didn't and I'm in it past the point of giving in-so make your wages place your bets and shut your mouths about regrets and how we're screwed). You climb the rung, I'll keep my head and I'll take all the crap you're giving me instead. "Cause we'll be driving to a show while you'll be working at the store and checking out some lady buying Wonder Bread. And as it seems to me that there are alot of cool jobs but just a few that interest me. I never wanted to work inside a shop as a clerk or build my pension plan by being a company man. I want to be in a band. I want to make the supply and then create the demand. I want to be in a band. My parents still don't understand. Just add it up, you'll see the crux. From all our arguments we've gathered just enough to know we're quicker than a hare and smarter then the average bear and just because itself is reason just enough. And as it seems to me that sheer volume of pay is not a gauge of self-esteem. I never wanted to work inside a shop as a clerk or build my pension plan by being a company man. I want to be in a band. We've got a penchant for fun and grrove for everyone. I want to be in a band. If you're concerned with the odds you'd better never begin. Veterinarian, garbage man or public speaking from a stand or pulling teeth or sweeping streets are all real cool and need to be done but not by me. I want to be in a band. (black coffee and wrong turns). I want to make the supply and create the demand. I want to be in a band( banned from all the big clubs). Supply side economics fit to make you happy. . .be in a band(beer drinking and mayhem). We've got a penchant for fun and groove for everyone. I want to be in a band (bandanas and make-up). My children still don't understand.
3. Antidote
Tony's got a botfly in his forehead. Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe. Dav'e got leeches. Mike's got flu. Everybody's got a parasite-I've got you. First date: we thought it was great. We drank and we ate. We stayed up real late. Next week we hit our peak making the bedsprings creak. And now, one month later, Tony's got a botfly in his forhead. Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe. Dave's got leeches, Mike's got flu. Everybody's got a parasite-I've got you. I guess that's what I get for being a jerk instead of cooling my jets. You were a wolf in sheepskin playing for keeps and I lost. And now, 20 years later. Tony's got a botfly in his forehead. Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe. Dave's got leeches, Mike's got flu. Everybody's got a parasite-I've got you. I've got you! Somebody tell me what to do. Should I try a bit of vinegar? Has someone got an antidote? Band-Aids, cyanide, hydrogen peroxide, rum and coke if nothing else will do. Everybody's got a parasite. I've got you. (chorus)
4. Thimbledrone
What's the matter? Who cares? People running everywhere, running like decapitated chickens in the rain. Nevermind the poultry, I'd rather stay at home. I hope that my old lady's feelin' like a lazy jane. No one really thinks I'm funny, not the way that she does. She is stranger more than fiction dictionary definition. Why don't we go take a drive and why don't we take your car? Mine is nearly out of gas and nearly broken down. Lighter flame and cheap bordeaux and incense wafting in the air. Steal a kiss and listen to the sound of falling rain. Never mind your diet, I'd rather stuff our guts making funny faces on the windowpane. We run we run we run and we're happy inside of this place. The walls are half the fun 'cause anarchy stays in its space. Huddled in the pilot's seat our tanks are filled with Thimbledrome. We check the dash and turn the motor on. Never mind the man in orange, we know our own way home. We crush him flat and shoot into the sky. There's a baby on its way because of what we do so much. Shooting like a comet fro the other end of space. Someday(I don't know which one) a pair of lil' feet will come creeping like a monkey with a creepy lil' face. And I will spank that monkey spank that monkey spank that monkey if it gets out of line. And I will spank that monkey spank that monkey and he'll thank me someday when I'm seventy-nine. We run we run we run and we're happy inside of this place. The walls are half the fun 'cause anarchy stays in its space. Allow me to extend to you a special invitaion to watch thw wrinkles form upon my face as I grow old. Christmas-time and Halloween and all the days that lie b/w, hand in hand we'll watch as all the years unfold. (chorus)
5. Put 'Em Back
Put your tears back into your eyes, adjust you hair. I am in no mood for theatrics or fake despair. It almost make me hunger for symbols, signs and semaphore. Subtle shades of metaphor too ingenious too ignore. Instead of that you sit there and cry, you moan, you lie. You crumple like an old piece of tinfoil, you claim you'll die. What the hell possessed me to ever catch a date with you? I should have known that it was wrong to trust the judgement of my schlong. Put your tears back (your tears back) yeah. I hate the way you drool when you talk, I hate your clothes. Moses knows roses and I know it's time to go. Thirty-something episodes, forced amusement at your jokes. Daisy chains and yogurt stains, sneaking under windowpanes. You think I'm not aware of your script so well rehearsed. The close-up camera follows your lipstick back in your purse. If you were better at it then maybe we could still be friends. Write and talk and keep in touch, as it is I hate your guts.
6. The Man Upstairs (remix)
On the wedding anniversary of the Johnson's they went out on a date. Lil' Jimmy had strict orders to be in bed, to be in bed by eight. But Lil' Jimmy knew they'd be late and he liked TV, he thought it was great. He's not alone. Turning channels, Jimmy faltered after hearing what he thought might have been creepy chuckles, scary breathing and sounds of metal scraping on wood. Hired by the Johnson's that day, he's a professional & likes things his way... or not at all. He's for hire, the man upstairs, he'll take care of you. Jimmy grabbed the phone receiver, called the fuzz up while he peed in his pants. Down the staircase in the next room. Here he come kid, hatchet clutched in his hands. Jimmy trembled and crept through the dark in the kitchen where all the knives are...he's not alone..here come the man. He's for hire, the man upstairs, he'll take care of you. Can't trust Mom, you can't trust Dad. What do you do when your folks go bad? The man upstairs watched in terror as Jimmy with a knife came flyin' through the air. Red light blue light cops burst in. They put a bunch of guns into their hands and then the cops said "Freeze! You better stop now! You better stop now or you're gonna be dead!" And they pumped lil' Jimmy full of lead cuz they thought he was crazy in the head. And after that they heard a voice that said: I'm the man upstairs, I'm the man, I'm the man upstairs. He's the man upstairs, he's the man , he's the man upstairs.
7. Song of the Seven Inch Cowboy
I'm a seven inch cowboy with a tiny pair of six-guns. Five'll get you ten, I betcha never seen one. Well, I'm a Seven inch cowboy, how do you be? And I'm used to people gawkin' and a-starin' at me. But I wasn't always so gol-darned wee. Let me tell you my story, you can listen for free... For seven long years now that's a year for every inch I stand, I've travelled, small and lonely, down the byways of this giant land. Like the country/western Lilliputian, too afraid to stop. I'm at the bottom of the food chain whereas I once was at the top. I wandered on foot-my horse had done abondoned me. And every town I came to's like a terrible dream. The other cowboys mocked me and spit tobacco like meteors. Watchin' me dodge em' and laugin' at my small squeaky scream. I went to a saloon to get a drink, they wouldn't serve me. The stuffed me in a glass and slid me up & down the bar. And all the barroom women gathered 'round and had their way with me. They sang: A man can pan for gold and strike it rich and be a millionare, or ride the rodeo and be the best one at it anywhere. Drive a brand new car, be a movie star. Size is all that counts, and there you are. And I'm a seven inch cowboy witha tiny pair of six-guns. Five'll get you ten, I bet you never seen one. (poignant yodeling here) Now as you can imagine I'd grown pretty bitter (although that's the only way in which I had grown). And in that seventh year I finally found my transgressor, the man who had shruck me-the worst fiend I'd ever known. The Mad Professor Mentley was his name and I drew near. I hopped upon his shoulder and I grabbed him by the ears. I held my lil' pistols up and I told 'em:"Look a-here! You made me this way it's time to pay you gol-darned queer!" And the professor said: "Wait! Wait! Now you know me and I know you, and you know the strange experiments are just what I do. It's less like the a pastime and more like a job. Why, if I didn't do-it I'd be an unemployed slob! Now I know that won't suffice if I'm to set you at ease, but I'm thinking as fast as I can for a man who's down on his knees! And just this passing moment I had thought! Here's what I thunk: I thought, where where would you be today if you hadn't been shrunk? Just another nameless cowboy, a mediocre bumpkin riding in the sun, skin burnt the color of a pumpkin. Reviled by the ladies, ridiculed by other men. Nothing to set you apart nor would there ever have been. The I came along, yes ME, Professor Mentley! I gave you a gift (though you weren't grateful, evidently!) I plucked you from your average status, I made you unique! You're a seven inch cowboy, not a six-foot freak! From every corner of the globe folks will come to adore you! Nations will bow and throw their riches before you! You'll be diminutive in stature, but a titan inside! Because I, your true friend, chose to stand by your side." Now I cogitated on the words Professor Mentley shared and I wondered if perhaps, he only said 'em cause he was scared. My guns were weighin' heavy in my hands, my heart was low when suddenly some old advice came to me soft and slow: Well, my pop told me it don't matter where a fella goes. You can sail through icy straits & misty arcipelagoes. Travel to the moon, orbit every star, size don't really count and there you are. You're still a man however big you are. And I'm a seven inch cowboy(seven inches tall!) With a tiny pair of six-guns(that's mighty damn small!). Five'll get you ten (for all you bettin' men!) I'll bet you'll never see another one (yeah!). I guess Professor Mentley had a point although I shot him anyway. There's never been a gentleman like me and that is safe to say. Well, I've thought real long & hard, so hard my brain is numb. Now I say Hollywood (Hollywood!) Hollywood (Hollywood!) Hollywood here I come!
8. Kokamantratarious
Blank walls in a restaurant bathroom. Black marker (though just a pen would do). Small words and simple poetry say what he wants to say in just the perfect way and all the people say: Kokamantratarius, hero for the average Joe. It makes him feel like POW! BLAM! YEAH! Fire in the hole! Kokamantratarius above the toliet bowl. Cracked tiles and cold white cinder blocks soon wear his words. It's like a diarrhea diary for men. He's like a Robert Frost if Robert Frost had been strange and nefarious and ungregarious. The road less travelled is for Kokamatratarius (chorus). Here I stand with pete in hand, I'm hoping that you'll understand, that all my life I've been a freak, afraid to laugh, afraid to speak. But now you'll have to listen to me. Now you'll have to listen now but I don't have a thing to say. Average Joe, hero for the average Joe. It makes him feel like shit.
9. Bottle Rocket War
Never enough celebrating Independence Day. It was never enough to celebrate the eve of New Year's Day. What about my friends and me, can we have your say? 'Cuz all our many enemies need to get blown away. Ain't no sting like a bottlerocket burrowing deep into the side of your face. And have you ever felt the big welt that a Roman candle leaves in its place? The woods in the neigborhood are worth getting put in jail. We'll fight 'em in the tunnels and we'll fight 'em in the swamps and they'll never get past never gonna go! Four Bics get flicked and the punks get lit. We never asked if we should. It's a game it's a chore, it's a bottlerocket war, and life never got so good. Build a pile, everything we brought from crazy Bill. Crazy Bob and Crazy Ken, they'd sober up if they knew about the Plan. We got enough pyrotechnics to fill up a wagon like a Chinese party in the year of dragon. I'm standin' next to Pose, and this is what he said: "Chuck can lift a manhole cover with his head!" Here we go! (chorus) We're just trying to have some fun, we're not hurting anyone. The lights burst like magic spells and make a sweet sound like bells. (chorus)
10. Gavin (remix)
It's not the number of times he tried to, but the one time that he did. I once told him to beware of things to come, but I was the one who should be scared. All the police and handcuffs didn't bother him. He's sure that God would understand. Oh, the killings in the convent hall. The cleaning bill was outrageous. Gavin killed a nun: "She had it coming and she got what she deserved." God helps those who help themselves. All the kids at recess rallied for his cause. The paid their lunch money for his bail. For all the times he tried to do it, he finally got it right. All the kids in school just think of Gavin as a folk hero because school's let out all day. Sister Mary's yardstick once broke Gavin's hand, but now Gavin's set things right. Sister Mary's yardstick once broke Gavin's hand, but now Gavin's sent Sister Mary to the promised land. (chorus)
11. Suckerpunch
I'm sick of only making peanuts. I'm sick of stale sandwich bread. I've got a plan to make it better and it begins with a simple punch to my head. Another count and I'm down but I'm wearing him down. Keeping the faith that I've got what it takes. Deride my pride but I'll be alright. I've got a Rocky II lunchbox with bills in it and I scrape by. I have seen this on some episode of Maude, Fish, Chips or The White Shadow. Rerun in my mind 1000x though I forget the channel. But I am back in my corner with ice packs and water. The champ's right hook changing my good side to bad. Too late to make a run for the van. The doc leans in timidly asking about my health plan. I can see the referee wants to go home (homey's got a wife & family). And my detractors clap their hands and blow their smoke (headline news in next day's sportspage). With every second that goes by I don't mind my swollen eyes. 'Cause I bet on myself and I'm making a killing. My opponent planned victory, I planned to lose. My bookie is crying, my wife thinks I'm dying. But I've got a nest egg that's hatching in the final round. And as I fall to the floor I don't feel so hardcore. My teeth swingin' loose like a drunk girl's caboose. My boys in the corner are pensive & somber. And Father O'Reilly is crossing himself more & more. I can see the referee wants to go home (homey's got a wife & family). And my detractors clap their hands and blow their smoke (headline news in next day's sportspage). (chorus). . . and the room spins round and round. . . the victory party's at my place after my loss and my disgrace (chorus). You should've never come back.
12. Umbrella
With a black silk umbrella on a rooftop one day. To put physical laws on Temporary delay. Goggles on & my shoes tied, thumbs upturned for the big ride. I'll step into a soft glide, to the earth far below. Off I went & down I fell! Like a missile shot to hell! Umbrella, snapped in three, you're a similie for me!
13. Easy Out
The black silhouette appears at my door. Dragging me out, I'm clawing the floorboards. Pretty soon I'm all heads up for long bombs and double-knottin' my Keds up. Fake left go long qaurterback sneak. try to wriggle out of it, he'll knock you into next week. Curve ball bean ball spit ball damn it all. Sportsnut alcatraz diggin' out the back wall. Don't blame me I don't wanna run a buttonhook. I'm in the middle of a good book. I quit! And I don't need to win. I don't wanna be an easy out again. Why don't you stay here and play with yourself? (repeat) It's not that I'm weak or don't like outside. Sometimes I submit and sometimes I hide out, and it's a lowly existence. But when the low survives it's from persistence; fake left go long quarterback sneak. Try to wriggle out of it, i'll knock you into next week. Man on 1st, man on 3rd, nerd on 2nd with knees like a bird. Don't blame me I don't wanna run a buttonhook. I'm in the middle of a good book (chorus). Well here's a ball and there's a yard. Go chase it like a stupid St. Bernard (repeat). I hate a lotta hate a lotta games I probably oughta not-I might've liked 'em better but a stupid St. Bernard made me this way it's O.K.